Indomitable Will, Tender Heart - 14
Author: Taryn
Email: Write
Me!
Rating: NC-17 (language and sexual situations - this chapter)
Disclaimer: Don't own them, yadda yadda. See Chapter 1...
Author's Notes: Smut Alert!
You were hoping I'd get around to it eventually, right? ;-) With any luck, you'll think it
was worth the wait, and yeah - there's
even more on the way! Now, for the "give credit where credit is
due" part: I
got some of my inspiration for the smut from one of Terri's
amazing fics, titled "In August".
If you haven't read it, get thee to her website and check it out!
Oh, and a special
thanks to Heather for the
"wild animal" comment....sometimes, when we're both on the same
wavelength, it can be downright scary!
;-)
----------------------------------------
Gradually shifting forward so that she was sitting more alongside of
him than behind, Marie started lightly kneading his right pectoral
muscle and shoulder-blade between both of her hands.
"Logan?"
"Mmph?" His eyes were closed, head drooping forward. Good,
he's really relaxed,....well, all except for one little - or maybe not
so little - thing...
"Can I --" Come on, girl....you can do this.
Concentrate on
what you know he needs... "Umm....will you let me do
something else for you?"
"Huh?" He straightened up slightly, attempting to get his brain
back in gear. "M-Marie, you, uh, don't need to --"
"I know I don't need to, I want to. Hey, we've covered this
already, remember?" Her tone was light but she squeezed his shoulder
for emphasis. "So....will you let me do something else for
you? Please?"
"But, uh...."
Before he could give it any more thought - and, in all probablity,
refuse - she lightly skated the fingers of her right hand down the hard
ridges of his abdominal muscles, stopping only momentarily at the
waistband of his boxers,
before slowly moving lower to gently skim over him through the thin
cotton
fabric. Oh, Sweet Jesus. Unless I miss my guess, there
seems to
be a whole awful lot of him in there...
Holy Fuck! With a sharp intake of breath and an accompanying
shudder, Logan grasped her hand, holding it away from him and staring
wildly at her. "What in the hell are you doin', Marie?!"
"You need this, Logan." In fact, the more she thought about it,
the more she was knew this was the right thing to do. Now I
just
have to convince him. She fixed him with a
reassuring smile, but hewas still eyeing her wildly, looking like he
was going to bolt out of the room at the first opportunity, his breath
coming in quick bursts. Marie was suddenly worried that maybe
she'd gone too far, but then she realized that where was another
emotion competing with the discomfort on his face: He
feels - guilty? But why? It wasn't his idea, it was
mine.
He's not demanding anything or taking advantage of - Oh!
Then, after checking with the Logan in her head, she knew: I
think...he feels like he's not deserving....like he's a bad person for
wanting me to do this and he doesn't deserve to have something good!
"Marie, no....." Fuck! Does she really have any
idea
what she's offering me? He was almost snarling, but there
wasn't
any heat behind it. In fact, she realized that it was actually
more of a whine than a snarl. He really does need this,
but
he's just not comfortable admitting it.
"Shhh....Logan. Just...let me do this for you." If
I
can just take the responsibility off his shoulders, he'll probably go
along...
He definitely needed further convincing, if his upper-body language was
any indication. As for the lower-body language, I'd say it's
already
pretty convinced. Marie reached up with her left hand
to stroke
his cheek, reveling once more in both the smoothness of his skin and
the prickling of his sideburns. As before, he unconsciously
leaned in toward her touch. That's it - let me just take your
mind off everything for a
little while....
"You didn't ask me to do this....I'm offering." She reassured him
again, her voice low and soothing. Tilting her head, she fixed
him
with pleading eyes and just the hint of a pout. I'm not above
putting
my feminine wiles to work so they don't get rusty....especially when
it's
for an oh-so-worthy cause. "It's okay, Logan - I really,
really
want
to do this for you. Please?"
He swallowed hard, his jaw tight and a dull ache throbbing behind his
forehead. Jesus. ...How can I possibly say no to
that?
Marie figured his silence was all the 'go ahead' she was going to
receive. Favoring him with a warm smile, her fingertips ghosted
across his chest again, lightly stroking the wiry hairs there, hoping
to alleviate some of his initial panic and nervousness before she
turned her attentions southward.
Air whistled through his clenched teeth as her hands slowly danced
across the sensitive area above his waistband, the muscles in his groin
and thighs tightening involuntarily as her caresses moved lower. "Is
this okay?" she whispered as her hand finally cupped him through the
thin cloth, less hesitantly this time, sliding slowly down his length
and then back up again. He could only nod, shuddering.
The sensations were more than purely physical, and they wrenched
an immediate, gutteral moan from his lips. Oh,
fuck.
I don't remember for sure, but I know it's been too goddamned
long....
She continued stroking him tenderly through the boxers, keeping to a
slow, easy rhythm, while the fingers of her other hand brushed over his
hip and swept lightly over his inner thigh. His eyes snapped shut
and he shivered, his body suddenly covered in gooseflesh. God,
that feels amazin'. She has no fuckin' idea what she's doin' to
me....inside and out.
Marie smiled, pleased that he seemed to be fine - More than fine, I
think - with what she was doing. It amazes me that just
my touching him
like this has that much of an effect. Good thing I'm not the type
to
let power go to my head, because I could really get addicted to this!
Climbing slowly off the bed, but still giving him little, reassuring
touches as she did so, Marie dropped the folded-up blanket onto the
floor. Positioning
herself between his legs, hands resting lightly on his thighs, she
leaned
forward to wrap her arms around his muscular frame. Having never
done
this before, she was going to have to access her inner-Logan for
assistance.
Taking a deep breath, she offered up a silent prayer as she fought to
quiet
her trembling: Oh, please God, don't let me screw this up!
Logan could smell the lemony scent of her hair mingling with his own
musky aroma as she pressed her face into his stomach and, as his arms
unconsciously came up and tightened around her, his groin tightened
even further. Something niggled at him, despite his brain - and
other parts - being foggy with need, and he tried to figure out what it
was. She's....is she shaking? Nervous I can understand,
but
hell....has she even done this before?
It occured to him, then, that maybe Marie had really only offered to do
this
for him because he'd given her the wrong impression. Well no
shit,
dumbass.....you've only had a permanent hard-on since ya met her.
Yeah,
I wonder how in the hell she got that idea?
As good as her attentions felt, and as badly as parts of him wanted her
to continue, he knew he had to put a stop to it immediately, or at
least
give her an out. This ain't right....I don't want her
thinkin'
I'm some pervert, just usin' her. I gotta make her
understand.
I mean, yeah, I want her....fuck, yeah I want her....but not like this
-
not like she's obligated to me or some shit like that...
He started to take his arms from around her, intending to grasp her
hands and move her away from him but, at that moment, Marie lowered her
head down from his stomach to the junction between his thighs, nuzzling
him gently with her nose and lips through the thin cotton cloth. Fuck....Oh,
Jesus.... It was the last coherent thought that he was able
to muster as he instinctively leaned forward, his arms tightening once
more around her upper body, holding her to him desperately, as if in
fear that she would disappear into thin air and this would all turn out
to be a dream.
Marie relished the feel of his embrace for a moment, the impact she was
having on him making her heart swell with pride. I'm
affecting
him this way. Me. Wow, I never dreamed....
Raising
her head up, she reluctantly scooted back from his arms while
continuing
to run the fingers of one hand over his length, maintaining a
reassuring
connection between them. Logan raised his head as well, his eyes
glazed,
looking for all the world like he was going to say something. Oh,
no you don't......not now. She increased the pressure for
a moment, hoping that he wasn't going to take this opportunity to
object, but he merely leaned back on his arms, his head coming to rest
on one shoulder, his eyes slipping closed again. Taking that as a
sign of further acquiescence, she reached in and grabbed a tube of
handcream out of the drawer in the nightstand, risking a quick glance
at the label since she had several different kinds scattered throughout
the cottage. Mmmm....vanilla. Not too strong a
scent,
and not too girly either. This should work just fine.
Marie stopped touching him long enough to uncap the tube, laying it on
the bed next to his left leg. Okay, here's the awkward
part. Once you manage this, you're home-free. Don't think
about it, just do
it. Squaring her shoulders, she reached out and tugged
gently on the elastic waistband of his boxers, while Logan
unconsciously raised his
hips a little to help her lower them. Marie bit her lip, barely
holding
in a gasp as she got a good look at what was eagerly waiting to greet
her. Holy Mother of God! Calling him well-endowed is
like saying
the
Pope is just a little bit Catholic!
Her hands were now holding his throbbing erection. Logan couldn't
contain the whimper that erupted from the back of his throat as she ran
a
single fingertip down the underside of him. As she explored his
shaft,
his hips arched unconsciously into her touch, allowing her to fully
wrap
her fingers around his bare flesh. The sensation was electric,
prompting a gasp and then a fierce, gutteral sound from somewhere in
his chest. Jesus... "Marie....unhh....do ya
know what you're doin' to me?" he choked out, his breathing
labored.
She smiled shyly. "Hopefully I'm making you feel good...?"
Pausing for a moment, she squeezed some of the handcream into her palm
- I
hope he doesn't mind, but I don't want to chafe him or anything....
- rubbing her hands together before directing her attention back to
Logan.
She could hear his sharp intake of breath. Wuh?
'Smells like....vanilla? Christ, the way her hands are glidin'
over me like that....unhhh... Marie's fingers slowly
increased their speed and pressure; there was no longer any denying
just how very badly he needed this release. While making him feel
good was her primary goal, she knew
that the intimacy of the act....and the degree of trust it required on
his
part....were equally important.
With her right hand deftly stroking his erection, she caressed his
balls with her left, marveling at the velvety-soft feel of the sack. Quit
composing
odes to his - admittedly deserving - body parts and just stay focused
here,
Marie! She widened the slow, sensual circle her left
hand
was making to include his hip and thigh as well, hoping that the
sensation would be both erotic and soothing.
Marie continued to pump him, alternating pressure and speed while
whispering nonsensical words of encouragement and reassurance. At
some point Logan had given in to gravity and was now lying on his
back. A warm, tickling sensation was building in his head -
Both heads....fuck - and he wondered vaguely
why his mind seemed to be on fire along with his groin. Marie's
soft hands on him, the fingers both gentle and insistent, were making
it impossible for him to concentrate on anything else but her....or on
how damned good she was making him feel. This time when he moaned
her name, it was a
plea rather than a protest. If she stops......Christ,
please don't let
her stop...
Moments later, a raw growl reverberated throughout the room. He
was close, she could tell - his eyes were squeezed shut, his hands
clenching and
flexing at his sides. His flesh between her fingers had suddenly
lengthened
and grown even more rigid. Logan shivered and thrust up into her
hand,
holding back completely beyond his capability now. ~ That's
right....just
let go, sugar. Let me give this to you. ~ Then, without
further
warning - Oh, yeah, hell, yeah...ohhh, I'm - shit, I'm
gonna...-
his movements stilled, his entire body sculpted in exquisite
tension.
As Marie gave him a final stroke, he erupted in her hands -
"Mmmph.....Oh God, M-marie....Unhhhh...." - bathing them in a
warm, sticky
wetness.
Logan felt like he was breaking apart into a million different pieces
and floating back to earth....not at all sure he'd be able to put
himself back together again, and way beyond caring. He could only
lay there, chest heaving as he struggled to draw oxygen into his
lungs. As the fog slowly lifted from his brain, he was vaguely
aware of Marie pulling tissues from a box stashed somewhere and then he
felt her warm hands on him as she gently wiped him off. He tried
to grasp her arms, but his coordination was all but gone.
"M-marie...ya don't hafta --" His tongue felt as though it was
stuck to the roof of his mouth and his voice sounded rusty, like tin
over gravel.
"Shhh, it's okay. Just let me...." She finished cleaning
him and tucked the crumpled tissues discreetly inside the wastebasket
under the nightstand. Turning back to him, she casually grasped
the waistband of his boxers and eased them back up over his hips even
as he raised them to assist her.
The silence that followed was tangible, and Marie felt like her insides
were quaking. Was it okay? Did I do it right?
What if it wasn't enough? Or
worse....what
if it was too much? In an effort to hide the
trembling,
she lowered her head to rest on his thigh, the warmth of his skin
against
her cheek seemingly several degrees cooler than her own overheated
flesh. I hope I didn't just ruin everything!
Logan was only distantly aware of her head pillowed on his leg. That
was just....Damn. I don't think I could describe
what
that was. I can't believe she did that for me....Jesus. Too
bad
all my problems can't be taken care of that way. I wouldn't even
mind
havin' any if that were the case. Heh. It took him a
full
couple of minutes to regain his bearings. Finally, he sat up and
was
abruptly aware that his fingers had drifted inside the collar of her
sweater,
lightly caressing the back of her neck. She shivered at his touch
and
slowly raised her head to look at him. Without uttering a word,
he
grasped her hands firmly in his and stood up, pulling her up with him.
As if frozen in time they stood there, only inches apart. He
could feel her heat and smell the freshness of her hair, slowly
registering that Marie's own breathing was a little eratic and there
was a distinctive change in her scent. This new awareness of her
- of the effect he clearly had
on her - was causing a renewed tightening in his groin. He wanted
nothing
more than to possess her; to bury himself in her sweetness and make her
moan
his name as she unraveled beneath and around him.....
Shit. 'Gotta control yourself, bub. After everythin' she's
done
for ya - hell, everythin' you've put her through - jumpin' her ain't
the
way to show her how grateful ya are.
Instead, he pulled her into an awkward embrace, strong arms wrapped
around her, her cheek firmly against his chest. She stiffened in
surprise, before quickly coming to her senses and bringing her arms up
around him in a reciprocal hug. They remained that way for an
eternal moment before Logan reluctantly stepped back and released her,
raking a hand through his hair. I gotta let go of her now, or
I
ain't gonna be able to...
Marie's eyes were glazed, but they widened suddenly and he
followed
her gaze downward, casting a rueful look at his crotch. "I...uh -
sorry.
Shit. Um, don't pay any attention to that."
Yeah, right, sugar. Easier said than done!
Confused, she stammered, "...B-but it's--? I mean, uh, you're
still....?"
"..Healin' factor." The Wolverine was incapable of blushing, but
Logan appeared to be doing a fair imitation of it. He grinned
apologetically. " 'Told ya it was a pain in the ass sometimes."
"Oh!" Marie blinked, understanding suddenly flooding through
her. His stamina must be incredible! He could
probably go all night....Oh My God.... She gulped.
"So....d-did I do it all right? I mean......did it even
help?" Her cheeks were stained pink and she could barely look at
him.
"Hell, yeah, Marie. Jesus....yeah, it helped a lot. You did
it just perfect. I--" His voice was gruff, though not quite
enough to disguise the emotions surging underneath. He stumbled
over how to explain. It was so much more than just the sex. How
could he possibly convey to her the sheer magnitude of what she'd done
for him? "...It was amazin'." The word sounded lame even to
his own ears, but it was the best he could do for now. "Nobody's
ever done anythin' like that for me before...." He glanced away,
unable to meet her wondering eyes.
"Never?" She didn't have to 'fake' her surprise this time.
His admission rocked her to the core. Even though she knew it was
true, she simply couldn't comprehend that no one - No One! -
had ever cared enough to do something tender and loving for him....just
because.
"Well, I mean....yeah, it's been, er, done before....but, uh, never
because somebody just wanted ta make me feel better." He
shrugged. "Usually, there was, you know....somethin' in it for
them, too."
Marie could feel a blush staining her cheeks - Does he think
I'm
expecting something in return? - and she swiftly moved behind him
to
start making the bed. "Oh, right. Um, well....I'm really
glad
I could, uh, do that for you, then. You know - just cuz I wanted
to.....no
obligation or anything...."
"Yeah." He was holding his jeans and had another one of the new
t-shirts she'd gotten for him slung over one arm, an odd look on his
face. Dumbass. She was just helpin' ya out....it
don't mean she'd
consider bein' with ya like that. "Th-thanks."
"Sure!" she said brightly, plumping the pillow and smoothing the
comforter. "Anytime!" She let out a groan. Oh,
shit...tell me I did not just say that!
To her surprise and mortification, Logan quirked a grin at her as he
wrangled a new pair of socks out of their cellophane prison.
"Hmm...that sounds like a mighty temptin' offer, darlin'. I may
just hafta take ya up on
that." He jerked his thumb at the doorway. "I'm gonna go
take a shower." Smirking at her flushed face, he cocked one
eyebrow at her. "..Wanna join me?"
Images of a naked, wet Logan -...and a wet, naked me with a
wet,
naked Logan....Oh Lord... - flashed through Marie's brain
and she
turned back to the bed, giving the pillow an extra hard smack.
She
managed to choke, "No, no...uh, I've already had my shower today.
Um,
you go right ahead."
A low chuckle followed him out of the room and down the hall.
When she heard the bathroom door shut, Marie sat heavily on the bed,
burying her hot face in her hands with a moan. Yeah, *that*
was
real smooth. He probably thinks I'm such a child. Just kill
me now!
-----------------------------------------
When Logan emerged from the bathroom, the first thing he became aware
of was Marie's voice. His entire body tensed, immediately on the
alert, until he realized that she was talking to someone on the phone
in the kitchen. Loathe to admit that he was more than a little
curious about who she was speaking
with so happily - I think it's...Grrr, is that a guy she's
talkin' to? - he knew that listening in - even though it would be
ridiculously
easy for him to do so - would be wrong. It's none of your
damned
business,
bub. She's got a whole life here - and people in it - that don't
include
you. To occupy himself - and move a little farther out of
hearing
range - he figured he'd simply go outside and have a smoke until
her
conversation was finished.
As he slipped on his jacket and boots in the front hallway, he caught a
faint whiff of something that smelled suspiciously like a wild animal
and
-- even more alarming -- it seemed to be emanating from the direction
of the
living room. Nostrils flaring, Logan reached out with his senses,
finally honing in on the large overflowing bookcase against the far
wall, just beyond the window seat. He cocked his head, sniffing
the air again before finally
crossing the room to stop in front of it. Upon closer inspection,
he
could see that the bookcase obscured a doorway and that the scent he'd
picked
up was actually coming from outside. The smell of something wild
was
definitely stronger here and that, along with his growing curiosity,
helped
him come to a decision. Realizing it was mounted on casters, he
was able to easily scoot it out from the wall far enough for his body
to slip behind it. The reward for his efforts was a set
of double doors with beveled glass inserts in their upper halves and,
upon looking
through them, he could see a stone walkway that extended out into a
heavily
wooded backyard. The handles protested with a faint squeak as he
tried them,
but the doors opened readily enough and Logan hesitated only briefly
before
stepping out under the awning onto the concrete patio and tugging them
shut
behind him.
The smell of wild animal immediately filled his nose and he breathed in
deeply, letting the scent roll over the back of his tongue. It
caused
his hackles to rise, and a scant moment later he was able to give it an
identity....
Wolf.
Hazel eyes narrowed as he scanned the perimeter, but he quickly
realized that the wolf had been here sometime before sunrise and was
long-gone by now.
Before he knew what he was doing, he reached out with his senses
full-bore,
trying to pick up on the animal's motives....but there wasn't any
aggression
- only curiosity. Then, with an abrupt shake of his head, he
frowned. Shit. I gotta be losin' it. Since when do
I have any
fuckin'
idea what an animal's thinkin' or feelin'? Cursing himself
under
his breath, he pulled a cigar out of his pocket and fired it up,
sucking
the harsh smoke into his lungs in the hopes that the slow burn would
help
clear his head.
Now that he was certain there was no danger, Logan allowed himself to
casually study his surroundings. Although everything was mostly
blanketed in snow, the backyard was neatly organized into sections.
There were vaguely familiar lumps that he guessed was a picnic table
and a grill on the left, and more misshapen lumps that - as he cocked
his head and squinted - began to resemble a rock garden and frog pond
on the right. There were several filled bird feeders suspended
from branches and the entire property was bordered by a thick fringe of
trees and bushes, giving him the distinct impression of being in a
wooded copse, cut off from the rest of the world. It was
obvious that Marie - or someone - had put in a great deal of time and
effort
out here, and Logan grunted in appreciation while leisurely savoring
the
cigar.
As a chickadee scolded him from a lofty branch, his thoughts drifted
back to what Marie had done for him earlier. He cursed himself
for having so little control over his own body's reactions. Sure,
he was attracted to her - what male with a pulse wouldn't be? -
but it had never been his intention to take advantage of her or make
her feel obligated in any way.
While he was extremely grateful for - and humbled by - her
thoughtfulness and caring, was it just one more 'charitable act' she'd
generously performed for him, or had there been another reason why
she'd done it?
Logan had been aware of the increase in Marie's heart-rate and the
not-so-subtle change in her scent, but he'd simply attributed it to
being 'caught up in the moment'. Only now, when he had the
opportunity to reflect on the morning's events, did he realize that
there was something he'd missed. Yes, Marie had been aroused -
that was a perfectly normal reaction....a response to both the intimate
act that she was bestowing on him and the pleasure that he was deriving
from it. But, with a start, it hit him that arousal wasn't the
only signal he'd gotten from her. He suddenly remembered the look
in her eyes when she'd brought him to completion - and when he'd held
her in his arms afterwards, nothing had ever felt so good or
so....right. He'd never expected to have that, and he also knew
he'd never have it again. A shiver overtook him, prompting a low
growl to rumble in his chest. On some higher, yet more basic,
level, both her body and her mind had been acknowledging - and
accepting - that she was his mate and he was hers. There was a
bond between them that transcended the purely physical, and they
belonged together.....to each other.
Logan had never felt anything even remotely akin to hope before, so the
faint but steadily growing tingle coursing through his veins was both
foreign
to him and thrilling, though not entirely welcome. Love was a folly
that
had no place in his sterile existence - if he were to ever entertain
such
a dream, it would be immediately and brutally executed by cold, hard
reality. As far as he was concerned, things like love and hope
only served as a reminder of that which he could never - would never -
have....of a way of life that, for someone like him, was
unattainable. Why spend time and waste effort wishing for
something that was forever beyond his grasp....a glorified pipe dream?
He scowled, punishing the cigar between his teeth. Even if -
miracle of miracles - Marie had real feelings for him, it didn't
matter. He was no good for her. A relationship with him
would only bring her trouble and grief, pain and heartache. She
deserved better.....a bright future, with someone who had plenty to
offer and would never hurt her, even accidentally. Him? He
had a murky past and an uncertain future, and not much else
inbetween. His heart was at war with his head over what he
couldn't have....had never even allowed himself to think about - and
the tentative surge of hope that, just maybe, it wasn't so far out of
his reach afterall? Not surprisingly, neither side was showing
any signs of backing down. No! As deeply as it
pained him to think about a life without
her in it, he cared about Marie far too much to inflict himself and all
of
his baggage on her. I can't let myself go soft. Not
now. He growled in disgust. Who am I fuckin'
kiddin'?
Not Ever.
Marie will be the one payin' the price if I do.
His ears picked up the sounds of Marie searching for him, and he fought
desperately to smother the embers of hope - of longing - that were
struggling
to flare to life in his chest. When the door handles finally
squeaked
and she stepped out onto the patio, the only sign of his ongoing inner
turmoil
was a careful schooling of his features and a vigorous sucking on the
cigar. Nodding his head in her direction, he gave her an
apologetic look. "Hey,
darlin'. I hope ya don't mind my comin' out here...?"
The endearment wasn't lost on her and she smiled at him as she
approached, wrapping her coat more tightly around herself against the
chill that insisted on permeating the air in spite of the brilliant
sunshine. "No, not at
all....although I was a little worried that you'd run off for a minute
there!"
She made a gesture that encompassed the backyard. "So, do you
like
my little sanctuary?"
"Oh, yeah. It's real nice." He tapped his ash and looked
around appreciatively. "Didja do all of this on your own?"
Marie nodded and there was a hint of pride in her voice. "Most of
it. I did all the arranging and planting and stuff, but I had to
have
some help with the rock garden and the birdbath, cuz I couldn't lift
those into place by myself." She gave him a
rueful
smile. "You know, sometimes I really wish my mutation was
super-strength - or that I had a strong, handsome,
growly-but-really-very-sweet guy
around
on...say, a regular basis? - because it would sure would've come in
handy
with a project like this!"
Knowing that it must have been a man who helped her lift and arrange
those items, Logan tamped down a wave of jealousy and simply nodded in
agreement. Marie jerked her thumb over her shoulder in the
direction of the french doors and didn't resist the urge to tease
him. "Those are more than a little drafty in the winter, so I
keep them blocked off. Does your superior eyesight include x-ray
vision, too?"
"Nah." He tapped his nose. "...'Gotta good sniffer,
remember?"
"Um, you...smelled them?"
At her puzzled expression, he chuckled. "I was headin' out the
front door for a smoke, while you were on the phone, but I smelled the
outside air
comin' from your livin' room and - well, I guess my curiosity got the
best of me." His expression suddenly
grew
serious. "And Marie....I also smelled a wolf. He was here
sometime
before daybreak and he's long-gone now, but --"
"A wolf?" Her eyes were wide as she broke in. " I
know
there are some black wolves in the northern Catskill area, but I
thought they steered clear of civilization? Are you sure about
this?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. Wolves are solitary creatures and they tend to
keep to themselves - he probably just got separated from his pack, or
maybe food's been scarce and he's huntin' farther from home. I
don't think he's gonna
hurt ya, but ya need to be careful, darlin'. They may look like
big,
shaggy dogs, but they're wild animals at heart and they ain't somethin'
ya
wanna tangle with."
Oh, I don't know about that, sugar....I can think of one wild
animal
that I wouldn't mind tangling with.... Marie quickly hid her
embarrassment at that thought with a cough and cleared her throat. "Oh,
Logan....a wolf! Right here, in my own backyard! That's
wonderful! " She was bouncing on the balls of her feet but, at
the warning look on his face, she abruptly sobered. "I know, I
know....Grrr, wild animal and all that. I promise I'll be
careful." She winked at him then. "But I still think it's
pretty awesome! Wolves are so beautiful and I really hope I get
to see him some day.....uh, you know, from inside the cottage, of
course."
Logan shook his head, the hint of a smirk on his face. Knowing
full-well that it was pointless to say anything more to dissuade Marie,
he opted to change the subject. "So....do ya want some
breakfast? I was thinkin' I could make it for us....you know, for
a change. I mean, it ain't
right that you hafta do all the cookin'--" He broke off at the
pensive
look on Marie's face. "What? Hey, it ain't that bad.
I've
been known to make a pretty mean omelette...."
"No, no, it's not that! I've got a hunch you're actually a very
good cook." She smiled, but her eyes were shadowed and she bit
her lip, not
certain how to proceed. "I'm really sorry, but I can't have
breakfast with you this morning, Logan. Something's sort
of....come up and I have
to, uh, leave for a few hours. I know this is pretty
sudden, and
I hate to ask, but I was, um, wondering if you could --"
Go? There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and, at
the same time, he was suddenly awash with another emotion that was
previously unfamiliar:
dread born of impending rejection. It was a guy she
was
talkin' to.
I knew it! She's got a breakfast date and she's gonna go meet
him,
and now she wants me to leave before she gets back, cuz he'll probably
be
comin' home with her. Fuck! His hands balled up
into
fists
and he could feel the claws pricking at the inside of his knuckles,
just
itching to be released. Fine. That's
just....fine.
I was thinkin' about leavin' anyway. I shoulda just done that in
the
first place. Shit. I still gotta fix the guest room....but,
okay.
Fuck it. Whatever. I'll just finish that up while she's
gone
and then I'll pack my shit and be outta here. It was nice while
it
lasted, but I've gotta be hittin' the road again anyway. She just
beat
me to the punch, askin' me before I could mention it. Loverboy
will
never even know I was around, but I swear....if that asshole lays a
fuckin'
hand on her, or hurts her in any way, I'll --
" -- drive me to the meeting point?"
Logan blinked. "Huh?" He swung his attention back to Marie,
forcing his hands to relax. "You just need me to drive ya
somewhere? Y-you don't want me to leave?"
"Leave? No...of course not. I mean, um, not unless you
really want to...?" He wants to leave? Oh, No!
Maybe
he's feeling uncomfortable about, um, what I did for him this morning?
Marie
shot him a quizzical look, swallowing hard and casually trying to bring
her
racing pulse under control. "Are you okay, Logan? You know,
if
you're not feeling up to it, I understand. You could just stay
here and rest and I can get
someone
else to --"
"Nah, I'll do it. I'm feelin' fine. 'Never felt
better." I ain't lyin' about that. He shoved his
hands in his pockets, glancing back up at
her with a sheepish expression. "Uh, so where do ya need driven
to, exactly?"
Marie smiled at him then, hugging her coat tighter around
herself. "I don't have time for breakfast, but we can have coffee
and I'll try to explain
on the way. Can we go inside now? Brrr...it's freezing out
here!"
Gamely, he followed her back through the doorway, at once both curious
and cautious. Okay, so she didn't want him to leave, but the fact
that she
needed him to drive her somewhere didn't exactly negate the whole
'breakfast date' theory. Was she honestly asking him to take her
to a meeting with
another man? And even more of a concern was: could he
actually do it without snarling and proclaiming Marie as his just
before ripping the guy a new one?
Logan just barely restrained himself from taking out his frustration on
the bookcase, although he wasn't above giving it an extra hard push for
good measure while returning it to its place in front of the double
doors again. That done, he joined Marie in
the kitchen. She had just finished pouring steaming coffee into
two plastic mugs and was in the process of adding spoonfuls of sugar to
one and a large dollop of honey to the other. After stirring
them, she snapped lids on both and handed him the mug that contained
the honey with
a shy smile. In the warmth of the kitchen, her coat was hanging
open
and Logan suddenly noticed that she had changed her clothes from the
casual
outfit she'd had on earlier. She was now wearing a clingy black
knit
turtleneck and form-fitting black leggings that accentuated both her
slim
figure and her generous curves, leaving very little to his rampant
imagination. Jesus. She looks like sin on legs!
Is what she's
wearin'
underneath that black and skimpy too? Logan nearly choked
on
his coffee as he tried to ward off the mental image of Marie wrapping
those
mile-long legs around him, wearing nothing but a smile and black
lace....
"Logan....what's wrong? Is the coffee too sweet? Damn, I knew that was too much honey...."
"Mmph." He coughed, cleared his throat, and coughed again before
regaining enough control to reply. "No...it's fine. A
little hotter than I, uh, expected, but I'm okay." For the second
time in less than an hour he could feel himself starting to squirm
under her curious gaze. Christ, I really gotta get a
handle
on things here... Clearing
his throat again, he shifted his weight awkwardly. "So, where're
ya
goin'? Er, I mean....where do ya need me to drive ya?"
"Professor Xavier needs me in Westchester, so he's sending his plane to
pick me up." Marie blew onher coffee before taking a sip.
"It
would attract too much attention if it landed within city limits, so we
usually arrange a pickup about fifteen miles from here." She
shrugged apologetically. "I used to just drive there myself and
leave the car, but one time I was delayed
and didn't make it back until two days later. The RAV4 got towed
and
- trust me - I have no desire to ever explain to the impound officer
again
exactly where I was and why I'd left it out there in the middle of
nowhere
in the first place!" She grinned and gave Winston a scratch under
the
chin before heading toward the front door. "Besides, with all the bad
weather
we've been having lately, if I took a chance and left it there I'd
probably
end up with a dead battery or have to hire a snowplow to dig it out,
you
know?"
Logan chuckled. "S'okay....I don't mind takin' ya." Now
that he knew she wasn't leaving for a date, his mood was steadily
improving. "But, uh, what's goin' on in Westchester that ya gotta
get there in such a
big hurry?" A thought suddenly occured to him. "Or is this
somethin'
that happens a lot...?"
"No, not a lot, thankfully." Marie sighed. "The Professor
needs me to do some intel work for him and, unfortunately, it just
can't wait. He apologized for interrupting our holiday, but world
safety waits for no --"
"..Holiday?" The fact that she'd referred to it as 'their'
holiday wasn't lost on Logan and a warmth spread through his middle
that had nothing to do with the hot coffee he'd just swallowed.
"Yeah....tonight is New Year's Eve." He looked nonplussed and
Marie couldn't help but giggle. "Here in America, it's tradition
to party til you puke....or, at the very least, to watch the ball drop
in Times Square with friends or family while you get fat and happy on
junk food and cheap champagne." She grabbed her purse and the car
keys, locking the door behind them and heading toward the car.
"Oh, c'mon, Logan! Even Canadians celebrate New
Year's....surely you must've played the fool with a lamp shade on your
head at least once!"
Logan climbed into the passenger seat and Marie started the engine,
pulling out of the driveway and heading south. "..'Never paid
much attention to holidays...." Cuz there wasn't anyone
I
wanted to spend 'em
with and there' ain't exactly been much in my life worth
celebratin'.
He shrugged, his voice gruff. "One day is just like all the rest
to me."
In the recesses of her mind, Marie had a sudden flash: Logan,
alone in a rundown hotel room, leftovers from a fast-food dinner on the
stained formica table, the bed rumpled from too many sleepless
nights. He was drinking heavily but unable to achieve even a
lasting stupor, and contemplating - not for the first time - just
exactly what it would take to finally end his pointless existence,
while horns bleated and a chorus of "5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!"
reverberated through the thin walls. Marie
swallowed hard and looked briefly out the driver's side window,
blinking
rapidly to rid her eyes of the tears that were threatening to spill
over.
She prayed that Logan didn't have access to that particular memory, and
it
firmly renewed her resolve to create a wonderful present for him that
he
would be able to look back on and remember fondly. Keeping her
still
watery eyes fixed on the road, she cleared her throat, willing her
voice not to shake.
"Oh, well....so, um, holidays - not really your thing. That's
okay! Actually, a lot of people aren't big on them. But--"
She snuck a glance in his direction and was surprised to find him
watching her with an intense expression on his face, almost as if he
was hanging on her every word. "...I, uh, just thought that we
could....well, you know-- " Realizing that she sounded like a
babbling idiot, she cleared her throat and finished rapidly. "
--that maybe we could have our own New Year's celebration.
Nothing fancy or with lots of people....more like - just the two of us,
some food, some wine, at the cottage. Um, that is, if you want
to?" He was still looking at her and she realized her heart was
pounding. Great. We're back to me babbling and
him
not saying anything. I forget...is that good or bad?
Shit! Maybe
he doesn't want to be alone with me, after what happened this morning?
"Or, uh, we don't have to do anything. I mean, you can
just...you know...do your own thing - or do nothing. Nothing is
fine, too....and I'll, uh, just leave you alone, and--"
"Yeah, okay."
Marie sucked in a breath. "Okay?" Okay to what?
Us
spending New Year's Eve together or me leaving him alone?
"Yeah. The part about you and me havin' our own New
Year's." Logan shifted in his seat and, looking out the window,
casually sipped his coffee as he fought the urge to squirm again.
"That, uh, sounds real good."
Yessss! On the outside, Marie's expression was impassive
but
her insides were busy turning cartwheels and somersaults. It
won't
be anything fancy, but I'm really going to make this New Year's Eve
nice
for him. "Okay, then....I'm, um, really glad you like the
idea.
I'll pick up what we'll need for tonight on my way back--" In
the
midst of her mental planning, she sobered abruptly. Business
on
a holiday....UGH. Charles had better be right about this not
taking
too long!
The pickup site was just around the bend and Marie suddenly remembered
she hadn't given Logan any instructions. "We're almost
there. Oh, and speaking of getting back - this shouldn't take
more than a few hours, I hope! I'll just give you a call at the
cottage when I need you to come get me, okay? You, uh, were
paying attention to how we got here....right?"
He simply smirked and raised an eyebrow in mock indignation at
her. "You just have a safe trip and I'll be right here here
waitin' after I get your call." The Wolverine don't
have
any need for maps, darlin'. He could track ya to the ends of the
earth, just by your scent. Heh. You couldn't escape him
even if ya wanted to....but my gut's tellin' me that escape is the last
thing on your mind. The knowledge both warmed
his heart and scared the shit out of him, but this was one New Year's
Eve
celebration he wasn't going to miss for anything.
----------------------------------------
Posted April 2002
